okay check this out
Im 18 so i get handed a beer from my moms bassist.
i dont really want to drink it so i put it in the fridge.
when i do that, my moms saxophone player comes up to me and says, if its alright with my mom, that he can hook me up with some bud from this lady he knows in the apartment next to us.
so my mom says she doesnt mind so we go to the ladies apartment.
i say hello and Allen tells her its my bday so she pulls out a bong and we rip it up.
on the first hit of whatever kind of dro she had, i felt a rush of overpowering energy flush through my body from my toes to my head.
this australian marijuana is dank as fuq
so she gives me a free gram and says she sells so i ask to by more.
over here in australia, 5 grams is 50 bux…works with me :)
so after i left her apartment i went to the beach alone
i smoked so much. i shined a flashlight on the shore and got the attention of a distant ship who shined their light back at me.
shortly after i had done that i started seeing what looked like distant lightning but kindve more like an explosion of some sort.
whenever that huge light flared the sky, i felt a slight impact on my body. a couple of seconds later, these huge waves came crashing on to the shore and i had to quickly run backwards a little to avoid getting wet. what the fuck were those explosions…bombs? lolwtf
anyway, i left the beach because someone came on there with a flashlight and i flipped shit. i ran back to my apartment and felt safe….for a while…the tv and dvd and cd player all stopped working…i didnt know why.
the next morning i found out that australia had an earthquake! they havent had an earthquake since 1914, so i had been told. what a story! so i smoked a bowl or two and watched a spongebob marathon. so funny.
then my mom wanted me to watch a documentary about a really devastating tsunami that ruined lots of peoples lives and took their loved ones away. it was depressing and i felt really bad for them….it got me wondering if that was going to happen here in australia considering my mom and i both predicted some weird force of nature would happen during our stay here.
anyway after that i got ready to go to one of my moms shows at a club.
once we got to the club, my mom and her band played and it was cool! everyone kept telling me that i needed to get wasted or whatever since i was 18 and i was like nahhhh alcohols kinda….eh…but i gave in, what could i say.
after a shot of whiskey and scotch and some tequila and beer, i didnt feel much different. if anything, i felt worse. so i decided that i hate alcohol and im sticking with good ol MJ.
just then, a stripper got on stage and started getting naked for some dude. it was his birthday and he was having a bachelors party or something? so everyone was watching her dance with her tits flopping everywhere and it was pretty funny. i recorded the little bit i saw of it to show people back home in case nobody believed me that i got to see a naked chubby lady dance on my birthday!
anyway this was the story of my 18th birthday….im here in australia with booze, bud, women, beauty, and peace….but god fucking dammit id give up all of these things to see a fucking KANGAROO!!!!!!!