the Humble Poltergeist

okay check this out

Im 18 so i get handed a beer from my moms bassist. 

i dont really want to drink it so i put it in the fridge. 

when i do that, my moms saxophone player comes up to me and says, if its alright with my mom, that he can hook me up with some bud from this lady he knows in the apartment next to us. 

so my mom says she doesnt mind so we go to the ladies apartment. 

i say hello and Allen tells her its my bday so she pulls out a bong and we rip it up. 

on the first hit of whatever kind of dro she had, i felt a rush of overpowering energy flush through my body from my toes to my head. 

this australian marijuana is dank as fuq

so she gives me a free gram and says she sells so i ask to by more. 

over here in australia, 5 grams is 50 bux…works with me :)

so after i left her apartment i went to the beach alone 

i smoked so much. i shined a flashlight on the shore and got the attention of a distant ship who shined their light back at me. 

shortly after i had done that i started seeing what looked like distant lightning but kindve more like an explosion of some sort.

whenever that huge light flared the sky, i felt a slight impact on my body. a couple of seconds later, these huge waves came crashing on to the shore and i had to quickly run backwards a little to avoid getting wet. what the fuck were those explosions…bombs? lolwtf

anyway, i left the beach because someone came on there with a flashlight and i flipped shit. i ran back to my apartment and felt safe….for a while…the tv and dvd and cd player all stopped working…i didnt know why.

the next morning i found out that australia had an earthquake! they havent had an earthquake since 1914, so i had been told. what a story! so i smoked a bowl or two and watched a spongebob marathon. so funny. 

then my mom wanted me to watch a documentary about a really devastating tsunami that ruined lots of peoples lives and took their loved ones away. it was depressing and i felt really bad for them….it got me wondering if that was going to happen here in australia considering my mom and i both predicted some weird force of nature would happen during our stay here. 

anyway after that i got ready to go to one of my moms shows at a club.

once we got to the club, my mom and her band played and it was cool! everyone kept telling me that i needed to get wasted or whatever since i was 18 and i was like nahhhh alcohols kinda….eh…but i gave in, what could i say. 

after a shot of whiskey and scotch and some tequila and beer, i didnt feel much different. if anything, i felt worse. so i decided that i hate alcohol and im sticking with good ol MJ. 

just then, a stripper got on stage and started getting naked for some dude. it was his birthday and he was having a bachelors party or something? so everyone was watching her dance with her tits flopping everywhere and it was pretty funny. i recorded the little bit i saw of it to show people back home in case nobody believed me that i got to see a naked chubby lady dance on my birthday! 

anyway this was the story of my 18th birthday….im here in australia with booze, bud, women, beauty, and peace….but god fucking dammit id give up all of these things to see a fucking KANGAROO!!!!!!! 

i never want to go back

soooo…i think im in love with it here..and i dont want to go back to the states. especially texas. fuck you texas. 

thats pretty much all i have to say. thats all there is to say. cheers

so a really strange thing happened right after i made that last post. this 17 year old australia dude (mate) knocked on my door and asked if i wanted to chill. so i was like yeah sure why not (maybe he has bud) so we walked around and talked. he had never been to the US so i was telling him all about what its like there and stuff and he was fascinated at some of the things i shared with him. 

so as we got to know each other some more i asked if he smoked and he said no and i asked him where i could get bud around here and he said “its illegal :p” and i was like….i know lol. so he told me not a lot of australians smoke bud, not like americans anyway. and it was then that i started to notice how different the australian people are compared to americans….americans are just flat out dicks. i still have yet to tell him that, i completely forgot. 

Anyhow, he did inform me that the legal drinking limit here is 18 so i guess its not too bad here. What i want right now is a cigarette though….just a few more days and i get to buy my first pack of cigs! (no im not going to pick up smoking. i hate cigarettes.) 

WELL! its a new day today….hopefully everything goes smoother today. i hope my moms not a total bitch again! 

i cant wait for my bday. i cant wait to get back home and give you your presents! youll like them :) i miss you lots. i love you lots. 

well i guess thats it for now… CHEERS

i dont normally use tumblr because i think its pretty pointless and kind of a waste of time. i like the pictures and stuff and seeing what people have to say and all that shit but well anyway thats not the point. the point is, is that right now, im in australia and im using tumblr because im really fucking bored. yes bored. in australia. let me explain.

I dont know anyone here.

my mom is insane and starts fights with me constantly so im staying as far away from her as possible. 

i dont know when to go to sleep because the time is different here and its fucking with me mentally or something. 

i havent been able to gain the courage to ask people where i can score some dope around here to mellow out when i walk the cold, soaked and grey Australian round abouts. 

i dont have anyone to talk to because all of you are asleep right now and it fucking sucks (even though i only talk to like 2 people in the US.)

my moms a bitch. 

i hate my mom. 

shes a bitch.

but anyway it makes me wonder, can i really live with her when i get back to the states? i already have the answer! and that is no. no i cannot live with my mother when i get back to the states because of her constant yelling that breaks the sound barrier and makes my ears’ asshole rip out and rap around my throat and suffocates me until i reach the point where im about to die, then it unwraps. wait did that make any sense? to me it did. 

in other words, my mom’s constant bitching is so annoying, i think im going to kill her. 

so where am i going to live? what am i to do? 

———————————

now, let me think…

oh yeah things i like about australia,

the beach is beautiful and the weather is quite nice. 

everything is quiet. i havent heard one person yell but my mom. 

….shit i dont even think ive stayed 2 days here yet and im already ready to go back to my depressing home in allen. i liked it better there. its funny how one person can ruin an entirely new experience so easily. i mean its not funny, its fucking annoying. 

i miss miranda. i miss my dead dog. i miss my bed. i miss my pot. i miss my…grandma.

well im going to go to sleep now. alone. completely. its 640 pm here. i hate it.